From Birth until Now.

I've had a lot of questions from those who are not exactly in the know on what has happened in the past 4-ish weeks of my life that has led to my current condition. I figure I'll put it all in one place so it's easy to get the full effect. It starts right before Isaac's (yup, that's the name we settled on and we love it!) birth so it's going to be lengthy.

At 41 weeks pregnant exactly we had to rush Wyatt to the ER via ambulance for a febrile seizure caused by an ear infection that a doctor at the same ER 3 days prior told us he didn't have. That weekend we did everything we could to walk a baby out but got no results. By Monday, at 41 weeks 4 days pregnant, the car was not running right, I was in so much pain, my blood pressure was sky high and Wyatt was half way through his antibiotics. I asked my doctor to induce me and she agreed. At that point, my health was a huge concern and it was just time.

We get to the hospital, my water is broken and we begin laboring. Labor was uneventful until it started to hurt in which case I decided I was not going to be a hero and asked for an epidural. A few hours later, we experienced some heart decels in Isaac, received an amnio infusion and the process of flipping me every half hour began. After 16 hours of labor, being a +3 station at 9 cm. and 100% effaced for 5 hours, and Isaac's heart stopping twice we called for a c-section.

The c-section went well, I don't remember it as I was asleep during the entire thing. I woke up two hours afterward, breastfed my baby and allowed them to bathe him. I was then informed that he was truly stuck, his head was misshapen and he had some bruising from delivery. Isaac was born at 7:08 am on May 7, 2013. We came home that Friday and I began the recovery process. During this process, we developed some small bumps in breast feeding as well as learned that Isaac had been resuscitated three times at birth.

A few days after coming home, we visited my grandmother in law. After a few short hours if visiting, we had to go home as I was in crippling pain in my right side. We did not think anything of it except that it could be a "hot spot" from surgery and that I needed my pain medicine and to rest. I felt better the next morning, Grandma came to visit and help me with the boys for a few hours and I took the opportunity to rest.

I noticed throughout the next two weeks that I was having more back pain and pain in my incision and under my belly button every day. I still could not lift Isaac on my own and had trouble holding him for longer than 10-15 minutes at a time. I had no fever so I didn't worry about it as the pain was bearable and I continued on. By Friday May 24, I was having very serious signs of post partum depression. I had continuously cried for days and finally decided to call my doctor. When I went in, I was given prescriptions for depression medicine and brought up the pain. We found out my uterus was still swollen more than it should be, I had not been bleeding enough and an ultrasound was done. In office I had a blood clot removed via D&C. I was told that the next day would be painful but I would feel better afterwards and would be on the mend. I was also encouraged to continue any weekend plans to help with my depression.

We picked up my medicines from the pharmacy, went to my mother's house, went to Food Lion and went to bed. The next morning, my mom, Wyatt, Isaac and myself made the 2 hour journey to my sister's house. I was sore, but felt better than I had in days. The only concern was that I had no appetite, no feeling of hunger and was cold yet could not get warm. I still had no fever. I spent Saturday resting and woke up Sunday feeling worse than I had on Friday. I still had no fever and so I tried to just rest. I was in severe pain from holding my newborn, let alone his older cousin on my lap. By the time we headed home, I felt awful and knew there was no way I could eat anything.

When we got to my mom's house, I could barely walk. I laid down on the couch and realized I was shaking. At this point, I checked my temperature and had a fever of 102.6. I checked three more times and received the same result. I called my doctor who encouraged me to go to the ER. After receiving pain medicine and nausea medicine, I was sent for a CT scan that revealed three abscesses on my uterus. One was easy to get to in my incision, the other two were further back and much larger. The ER doctor consulted with the on call ob/gyn and they agreed to send me to a larger hospital for emergency surgery. Upon hearing this, I lost it. I had just had an emergency c-section and a D&C, now I was having another surgery. Daniel came to the hospital to be with me until transport arrived and met us at Wake Forest University Baptist Medical Center an hour later.

On Memorial Day I was admitted to the ER at Baptist. I don't remember arriving there as I slept through the ambulance ride and being moved from the stretcher to the bed. The first thing I saw upon waking was a bag of fluids hanging over my head. I was greeted by one of the on call ob/gyn's and was informed that there was some consideration of just draining the abscesses and they were checking into that. If radiology thought it was possible, I would be able to recover much more quickly. Radiology did not feel it was safe to attempt removing the abscesses by drain due to location and the thought that the infection may have spread to my abdominal cavity. It was decided I would need emergency surgery after all. I met with the head of obstetrics who would be doing my surgery and she seemed very optimistic since no other infection was seen on the CT scan. I also met with the head of general surgery who would be on call in case the infection had spread to my abdominal cavity and I would need it removed. This was just precaution as no other infection had been detected.

I remember waking up in my hospital room to be told by my mother "you were one very sick little girl." I don't remember much of the next few days. I had three large abscesses removed from my uterus, had we waited any longer I would have had a full hysterectomy. My entire abdominal cavity was covered in E. coli. and another infection (I cannot remember what) and I had 700 cc's of infection removed. I was lucky at that point to be alive. The cause of the infection was a small amount of meconium getting into my abdominal cavity during my c-section. For some reason, my body did not fight the infection like it should have and it grew. There is no thought as to why I never had a fever before or why the signs I had of infection were not severe enough to show us that it was there.

The surgery resulted in a large open wound in my abdomen that must heal from the inside out. This wound is being suctioned by a "wound vac" that I will have until it is healed completely. I also had a hernia removed (the cause of the pain at Grandma's house). I woke up to 2 catheters, several drains, the wound vac and 4 IV's. There were 3 ob/gyn's, 3 general surgeons and 3 anesthesiologists on my surgical team including the head of each department.

During my stay, Isaac developed a fever and projectile vomiting. Due to the nature of my sickness, he was transported to Brenner's Children's Hospital at Baptist to be monitored for bacterial meningitis for 48 hours. The cause of his fever was never found and it was ruled a cold. I was released to go home on Monday, June 3 but stayed with Isaac until Tuesday June 4 when he was released.

For the next 6 weeks I am unable to hold either of my children. I am not allowed to lift more than 10 lbs, take a proper bath, and cannot walk long distances. I am on heavy antibiotics to kill the infection that almost took me from my two young children. I cannot breastfeed due to lifting restrictions and the medicines I am on. I cannot wash dishes or my own clothes. I cannot cook for my family, properly comfort my children, or do any task that is considered an every day task. I will never have a "bikini body" as I will have a large scar on my abdomen. My wound is currently 8 inches long, 4 inches wide and 1 inch deep. It is going to take some time to heal. But I am alive, and I will heal.

We take so many things for granted, so many people for granted. We do not allow ourselves to appreciate life and it is so precious. I get frustrated hearing how people are so aggravated by having to carry a sleepy toddler or wake up in the middle of the night to feed a baby. These are tasks that used to irritate me as well though, but now that I cannot do them I am longing for them. I have not really held Isaac since birth. I cannot hold him now. I have not gotten to enjoy either of my children. I am taking my recovery time to sit back, look at these two precious sons I have and know that they are my everything. That their father is an amazing man who loves me and will always be there for me. That no matter what, family will always come through. I am enjoying my children spending time with my mom, my dad and my grandmother in law. I am sitting back and listening to the laughter, watching the smiles, kissing foreheads and just remembering that this recovery is for all of us.

What has happened to me has been devastating to family and friends alike. It has riddled my life so terribly. My mother watched and listened as her daughter fought for her life. My fiance stood by my side and held my hand when my world crashed around me while he was unable to pick up the pieces. My sister stretched herself in every way to care for my children for a week while I was in the hospital. My brothers visited me and showed me love. My father drove 2 hours to pick us up from the hospital and has been a huge help in the transportation department while our car is down yet again. My best friend did not leave my side and cried with me when I felt at my lowest. My grandmother in law entertained Wyatt for 2 days and has been cleaning my house and caring for my family while I cannot.

In the end, I am really and truly blessed. Thoughts, prayers, good vibes. There has been food and other necessities donated by strangers. The ladies at WIC pulled some strings to help get my breastfeeding checks exchanged for formula checks (something they do not normally do) without me even having to come in. There might be a lot of bad in the world, but there is still so much good. My ob, my children's pediatrician and many strangers have placed us on prayer lists. I am blessed, and I am thankful.

The village that raises my children is the best village in the world. And every member has taught me to slow down and enjoy. Because life is not guaranteed and is way too short. It is important to feel the love others have for you and to feel the love you have for others.