Who am I?

Ok, so this whole experience has brought me to the realization that half of the time, I just can't seem to remember who I am. Every day is less of a struggle and every day is much easier for me to cope with. So, every day I remember a little bit more about who I really am. Today I kind of need to write it out so that I can come back and look on days when I can't remember.

Who am I?

I'm a mom. I'm not just any mom, oh no. I'm Wyatt's and Isaac's momma. And that means I'm not afraid to get messy. I make playdoh and finger paints. I read "Dinosaurumpus" 100 times a day. I do bubble baths and love the mess even if I have to clean the flooded bathroom. I'm not too proud to say I've built many mega-blocks towers, heck I've even knocked quite a few down "Godzilla" style! I advocate for a parent's right to choose. I breastfeed (except for this time, I had to stop due to surgery). I decided to let circumcision be my children's choice. I get up at 5:30 am and bake muffins just because. You want a third banana Wyatt? Okay, here you go! I spend my every waking moment worrying about, chasing after and loving my children. I seek out whatever remedies I can to make my children's eczema go away. I care about all the chemicals in disposable diapers, baby wash, lotion and baby powder that my children are exposed to. I cloth diaper and I don't mind washing poopy diapers because at the end of the day, you're still dealing with shit (pardon my language.) I use coconut oil for diaper cream, lotion, cradle cap and to get rid of eczema because it's natural, it smells good, it won't give my kids cancer and it works. Occasionally, I buy Wyatt a Happy Meal. I play basketball, t-ball and golf outside in the middle of winter while 30+ weeks pregnant just to make my two year old happy. I persistently call about speech therapy when my almost 3 year old can't speak. I check on my babies several times a night and kiss little heads before bed even when they are asleep. Why? Because I'm mom and they are my world.

I'm a partner. I do Daniel's laundry, wash his dirty dishes and cook his meals. Not because I'm home all day, but because I like to take care of him. I'll go to an arcade, make an arse out of myself playing laser tag, play a video game even though I don't know what I'm doing, try playing Dungeons and Dragons, listen to Daniel talk about Magic cards even though I don't understand. I plan birthday shindigs and say "that's fine" whenever Daniel talks about having friends over or going somewhere. I may not be the best at it, or like the same things, but I'll sure as shit (pardon again) give it all I've got! Why not? I love the man and want to do everything I can for him.

I'm Shannon. I love animals. Frogs are the most fascinating creatures to me. I love mythological creatures such as dragons and faeries. I love to read, bake, cook, clean, write and shop for the best deals on my family's needs. I crochet, I scrapbook, I love anything homemade. If I can make it from scratch, that's how I'm going to make it. I prefer to be outside on a beautiful day or inside with the windows open. I don't like being cooped up in the house. I believe in God and believe that he is present all around us, not just as one entity. I believe the earth is a sacred place and it is our responsibility to care for it (thought we do a terrible job.) I'm terrified of the dark. I'm a backseat driver. I am OCD when it comes to my house. I'm stubborn and hard headed, even when it comes to my health. I love holidays and any reason to be with family. I love watching my sons with their grandparents and great-grandparents. My family means the world to me.

To some people, I'm not much. I don't have a college education. I stay at home with two kids. I have some pretty big health risks and needs right now. I don't drive. I do the "homely" stuff. I'm not at all one to believe that men and women can share the same roles. I don't know half of anything about cars and Daniel sure as heck can't make homemade bread or finger paints. To my family, to two little boys and their father, I'm the world. That's worth remembering and protecting. Even in my darkest days, I'm something to someone. That's pretty darn important.